I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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