No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
