The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
bring money and cleavage
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
