I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
