you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
