I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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