Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.

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(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life. http://tfl.nu/wz8b

Replies (10) Good night (598) Bad night (1190)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

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(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf

Replies (260) Good night (4260) Bad night (78743)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone

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(708): Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone http://tfl.nu/40xl

Replies (58) Good night (642) Bad night (3410)
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(802): View more from Vermont

does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children

(1-802): View more from Vermont

actually, i try not to think about it

(802): View more from Vermont

and i pooped them out

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(802): does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children (1-802): actually, i try not to think about it (802): and i pooped them out http://tfl.nu/h4ew

Replies (54) Good night (7900) Bad night (1715)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

You love popeyes more than me

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?

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(402): You love popeyes more than me (1-402): does delicious chicken come out of your vagina? http://tfl.nu/hcyr

Replies (34) Good night (4725) Bad night (1088)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks

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(901): I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks http://tfl.nu/9z2d

Replies (20) Good night (5996) Bad night (570)
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(817): View more from Texas

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

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(817): Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him. http://tfl.nu/25q8

Replies (63) Good night (28271) Bad night (1335)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

oh my god i'm in a crawl space

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(715): oh my god i'm in a crawl space http://tfl.nu/mjlz

Replies (16) Good night (2685) Bad night (1274)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.

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(704): I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks. http://tfl.nu/gvia

Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (1294)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life

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(412): My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life http://tfl.nu/dsvt

Replies (25) Good night (1731) Bad night (655)
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(214): View more from Texas

You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.

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(214): You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS. http://tfl.nu/zazd

Replies (1) Good night (1428) Bad night (299)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.

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(302): Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE. http://tfl.nu/pskj

Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (1277)
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(618): View more from Illinois

You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities

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(618): You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities http://tfl.nu/jkst

Replies (4) Good night (979) Bad night (226)
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(310): View more from California

I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...

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(310): I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now... http://tfl.nu/9bsa

Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (236)
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(562): View more from California

I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.

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(562): I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk. http://tfl.nu/qs07

Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (153)

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