Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

(919): View more from North Carolina

wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

(828): View more from North Carolina

i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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(828): can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later. (919): wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here! (828): i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa. http://tfl.nu/e72d

Replies (2) Good night (1113) Bad night (930)
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(319): View more from Iowa

i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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(319): i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet http://tfl.nu/p6vj

Replies (12) Good night (738) Bad night (3450)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.

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(734): Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic. http://tfl.nu/9ab0

Replies (15) Good night (1188) Bad night (2367)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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(502): I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer http://tfl.nu/cllh

Replies (118) Good night (23631) Bad night (2659)
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(519): View more from Ontario

so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.

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(519): so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours. http://tfl.nu/o2pq

Replies (15) Good night (4676) Bad night (1564)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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(401): In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke http://tfl.nu/8xdu

Replies (11) Good night (987) Bad night (4100)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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(615): all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident http://tfl.nu/nfc5

Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (4587)
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(707): View more from California

Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.

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(707): Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage. http://tfl.nu/1an1

Replies (3) Good night (2400) Bad night (1295)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.

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(202): After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/vjgb

Replies (9) Good night (2742) Bad night (1066)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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(701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn

Replies (9) Good night (2284) Bad night (885)
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(806): View more from Texas

It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

(1-806): View more from Texas

It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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(806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5

Replies (13) Good night (2098) Bad night (932)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.

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(704): My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/8i31

Replies (5) Good night (467) Bad night (1026)
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(619): View more from California

Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats

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(619): Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats http://tfl.nu/741y

Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (340)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.

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(318): I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America. http://tfl.nu/y2p1

Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (421)
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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.

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(248): apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week. http://tfl.nu/ax7v

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (443)

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