Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear

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  (512) 3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear http://tfl.nu/ahne
  Replies (4) Good night (1507) Bad night (2143)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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  (228): I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls. http://tfl.nu/frla
  Replies (7) Good night (1672) Bad night (895)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet

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  (610): There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet http://tfl.nu/0mzt
  Replies (24) Good night (1733) Bad night (2091)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK

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  (614): THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/6k18
  Replies (6) Good night (2920) Bad night (1027)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.

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  (401): She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal. http://tfl.nu/0f54
  Replies (10) Good night (1058) Bad night (2931)
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  (530): View more from California

  Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.

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  (530): Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying. http://tfl.nu/488f
  Replies (12) Good night (1597) Bad night (2578)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance

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  (405): Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance http://tfl.nu/6e2i
  Replies (6) Good night (1738) Bad night (1043)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny

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  (518): I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny http://tfl.nu/wgb1
  Replies (2) Good night (1532) Bad night (489)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight

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  (406): Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/ih4l
  Replies (5) Good night (987) Bad night (535)
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  (925): View more from California

  My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage

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  (925): My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage http://tfl.nu/o4i9
  Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (462)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"

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  (702): I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le" http://tfl.nu/jcjk
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (902)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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  (201): We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend? http://tfl.nu/y0ae
  Replies (10) Good night (886) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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  (712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (556)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

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  (262): Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs. http://tfl.nu/5llv
  Replies (10) Good night (579) Bad night (248)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow

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  (330): lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow http://tfl.nu/f70c
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (266)

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