The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
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This beer is not sobering me up at all
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
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I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night