Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize