Sponge bath it is.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
