thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
