Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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