We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
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Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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