you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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