Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
