I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
