He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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