When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
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I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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