I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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