I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
