Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize