i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
