"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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