Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
