I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
