I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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