Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize