Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
