redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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