yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh god it's open bar.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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