i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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