he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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