It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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