its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's get the cat blown out
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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