dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize