New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
