i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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