i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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