I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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