we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
