I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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