Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
not ubering you a puppy
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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