Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
