Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
