My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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