meet me or not, i'm out of control
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
