And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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