oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
