i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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