Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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