You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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