wanna go halves on a baby?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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