I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
