just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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