North Korea, Best Korea!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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