Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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