Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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