you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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